How to break up with someone?

+51 votes
asked May 26, 2015 in Relationships by KieranWine3 (260 points)
I have been dating a guy for more than a month now but I don’t think we are a good fit. He is a decent and really nice man, so I don’t want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?

3 Answers

+10 votes
answered Sep 4, 2015 by CasimiraMain (390 points)
Have you thought about it this way: Instead of immediately breaking up with him, you’d better inform him directly of your misgivings about the direction that your relationship is going towards. He’ll have to respect that and follow your wish. You can choose to give a particular reason or not, it’s entirely up to you.

There are no relationships rules that say that you are responsible for what your partner is going to feel after you break up with him. Just think about what he’s going to do, if it was him who first decided to break up with you. Would he be as considerate as you are now? So just tell him of your decision. He’ll understand and move on, if he’s really the reasonable man that you say he is.
+10 votes
answered Oct 24, 2015 by GordonColung (390 points)
It is really hard to break up with someone without hurting their feelings. However, it’s better to hurt him now than to continue dating him even though you see no future in your relationship. As always, being honest and direct is the best way to do it. He’ll certainly understand you, if you are right about him being decent and nice. If he doesn’t accept your point and raise a fuss about it, then you are entirely wrong about him, and entirely right to break up with him.

What’s important is that you are straightforward and honest with your feelings. He’ll appreciate that. He might get hurt but he’ll get over it and go on with his life so don’t feel so guilty about it.
+1 vote
answered Jul 18, 2015 by ErvinBarrera (170 points)
Of course you’re going to hurt his feelings, so get over it. I mean really, why bother even asking questions like how to break up with someone here? Getting dumped is always painful and there is nothing you can do about it so just tell him straight that you don’t want to be with him anymore so he can start planning his life without you in it. Too much rationalizing will only make things worse. On the other hand, people get dumped all the time so it is probably no big deal for him. Whether that’s the case or he’s going to bawl over and sulk in the corner for a week, you won’t know unless you whip up the courage to face him and tell him it’s all over!
commented Sep 7, 2015 by LeonidaSmall (140 points)
What a no-bulls*** answer! Man...
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