How to keep a relationship

+36 votes
asked Jul 23, 2019 in Relationships by NoraSosa833 (250 points)
edited Aug 7, 2019
My girlfriend says that I am dull, predictable and detached from everyone around me. I don’t want her to walk out on me, but I don’t think I should change. She keeps saying that if something interesting doesn’t happen in the relationship, we are through. What am I supposed to do to keep the juices flowing?

3 Answers

+30 votes
answered Jul 25, 2019 by LoydStretch8 (360 points)
edited Aug 10, 2019
I think at this point, you really should tell her what she should hear instead of what she wants to hear. This step seems dangerous, but you should basically try to be more honest in the relationship.

Set aside the years that you have coddled your girlfriend and said things only to make her happy. It is time that you say things to make you feel satisfied.

If you disagree with her cooking, say so. If you wish you had married her sister, make that statement, too. Even if your girlfriend ends up dumping you, she will remember the courage that it took for you to be more honest.

Being more honest is guaranteed to keep both parties interested in the relationship. Any good marriage counselor will tell you that honesty is the best policy. Every good relationship starts on a solid foundation of honesty, trust and dependability.
+4 votes
answered Aug 7, 2019 by MaximoSdi630 (250 points)
edited Aug 8, 2019
Maybe you’ll find it banal, but making custom-made gifts for special occasions can really do the trick. Whether it is a birthday or holiday, create a gift that comes from the heart. Write personal love notes that are honest and sincere in the words. Believe me, it can save your relationship.

So for her next birthday, skip the generic gift that you always get her. Find the box to put the gift in, design your own wrapping paper and write the note out by hand.

Any good girlfriend sees that you went through a lot of trouble to create these gifts. You do not expect money, but you do expect some appreciation. You know that she will appreciate you more as a good person and show more interest in being your girlfriend.
+1 vote
answered Aug 5, 2019 by HamishSocha (210 points)
edited Aug 12, 2019
You should be more spontaneous. Every relationship needs a few spontaneous moments to happen often. Right when your girlfriend thinks there is nothing more to the relationship, surprise her. Show the many ways that you are willing to show your love for her. Girls love guys that can give the occasional element of surprise. It does not take any effort to plan a surprise either. Whether it is a romantic trip or dinner, your girlfriend will thank you sooner than later and in more ways than one. This has been my solution to how to keep a relationship, and it has worked pretty well.
Welcome to Instant Answer, where you can ask questions and receive answers from other members of the community.