The following methods are originally developed for a school project. While I won’t call them perfected, they should look real enough to fool most untrained professionals from telling that they are fake! Try them, add some of your personal twists to them to make it look more convincing to your family.
(Note that we do not advocate skipping school just because you don’t feel like it. Also the more you sue them, the more likely they will tell that you are faking it)
1. Stomach and clammy hands
Probably the easiest and more effective one to fake sick with, the stomach flu and clammy hands combo will fool most parents from sending their children to school.
Faking a stomach ache pretty much requires acting like you feel agonizing pain from your stomach. Hold your tummy, bend down for the extra dramatic effect and groan every now and then!
For the clammy, uncomfortable sweaty hands, you can easily reach this effect with just licking your plan. Try it now if you want, I won’t judge, but it will look surprisingly convincing. Not only that, you could always “renew” the sweat layer sneakily.
2. Salsa in the toilet
Salsa makes a convincingly graphic puke with just a tablespoon or two floating in your toilet. Those additional veggie chunks give an additional authenticity too.
All you will need is your jar of salsa of choice out of the fridge, into the place of hiding. Make it somewhere in the bathroom you go in the morning and away from where your parents might search anything for. This should avoid you the trouble of sneaking away with the salsa to the toilet the next day.
All you would need to do now is to throw in some of the salsa and enjoy the result of your fake projectile vomit. Who knows, you might contribute to it yourself, it will look pretty nasty. Call your parents and position yourself at the toilet base to pretend you just hurled. Let them marvel at your masterpiece for a second before flushing it down, not like anyone would want to look at it any closer.
3. The fever
I personally won’t recommend this method. Difficult to execute and also the highest risk, they might send you for a visit to the GP and your cover will be blown.
Make an excuse to go to the bathroom and swish or gargle some warm water for around thirty seconds or so. Flush the toilet, then turn on the water to reduce suspicion from your parents.
Waste no time at all and immediately go for your temperature taking. Your mouth will cool pretty quickly. You might need to practice beforehand to get the right temperature, i.e. around 39 degrees Celsius, for the decently feverish.
If they aren’t watching, you could actually rub the head of the thermometer across your shirt or pants for a few seconds to generate heat from friction. I tried this a few times and manage to break my digital thermometer heat limit, so there is that.
Or you know, your parents could just hold your forehead and compare the temperature with their own, ruining the entire faking thing. Still worth the try if you are desperate.