How to talk to girls if you are shy

+46 votes
asked Jul 7, 2018 in Relationships by GertrudeNeum (240 points)
edited Oct 8, 2018
I have never had the courage to talk to a girl. I am 18 years of age yet I always felt anxious and nervous whenever I try to strike up a conversation with one. I don’t have any female friends so I can’t ask for their help. I just ran away when the situation comes up. I just feel really shy around them.

3 Answers

+20 votes
answered Dec 2, 2018 by ScottyPhilip (360 points)
edited Jul 24, 2019

The only way out of being a shy guy is to simply try to get over it. There is no magic shortcut to it.

Push yourself out there to meet more women. The first barrier is all about picking up the courage to meet a women itself. Open up your chances on meeting one. Instead of staying at home alone on another Saturday night on a Netflix marathon, why not just call a buddy. Get to a night club and just talk to an actual woman. Who knows, maybe you will even get her number.

  • An alter ego works great to hide your shyness. Develop one to emphasize your best parts. Are you good at cooking? Use that to your advantage. You aren’t trying to fake a persona or tricking people. Rather you are putting your strongest characteristics as your front. Just be honest with them, don’t to fool them too much. Lies only leads to more lies and that will come back to haunt you later on.
  • Find a woman that doesn’t intimidate you too much. You are often paranoid over the outcome and so you are likely to be overly anxious, then you avoid talking to girls at all. Find someone of your own level, not too attractive so you have fewer follow-up expectations. You will feel less pressure over impressing her and more comfortable with the conversation.
  • Be positive and confident. It all starts from you. If you present yourself as a confident man, the ladies will see you as one too, they can sense this sort of thing. The more you talk to a woman, the more this confidence build up and the less you need to worry. If you don’t think that you’re not worthy enough, then they too will feel the same.
  • Eye contact is important. It’s one of the ways to channel confidence. Eye contact is where it all begins and woman can see the fear in your eyes. Keep conscious of eye contact will constantly remain yourself to be confident. There is a lot of information you can learn from just by simply looking at her eyes. The women might discreetly invite you over simply with an eye glance or starts to look around when she’s getting bored.
  • Get a friend along for the ride. A friend could provide you with the support and comfort when talking to a woman. Maybe he is more experienced and you can learn something from him, or even intermediate the conversation for you. If you failed, he will be there to push you on. 
+4 votes
answered Oct 3, 2018 by GeraldineEis (380 points)
edited Oct 14, 2018

How to talk to girls if you are shy? Force yourself to do it.

There is not really any other way. Trust me on this. You are too shy to talk to girls yet you need to talk to girls in order to not be as shy anymore. There is not a reason to be scared, that’s all just your insecurity. As hard as it is, you just ought to force yourself to do it. Whether you like it or not you eventually need to get over that shyness. If they scoff you off or ignores you, then don’t talk to them and get to the next one. Then the day you find yourself to a female friend, will then lead you closer to a day to a girlfriend. Don’t hesitate. It's not as bad as how your mind made it be. 

+1 vote
answered Aug 12, 2019 by ThadWakefiel (330 points)
edited Aug 13, 2019
Well, as a girl, take my word for it, just be nice! I have plenty of guy friends, extremely shy but are simply the sweetest! Some girls like those boys who are sweet and shy, they are just the cutest! Try to strike up on some girls, go for the ones you know of but aren’t very close with. Give them a nice greet and strike up a conversation! Look them in the eyes as difficult as it might be. They know you are focused on them and they will do the same, conversations is more than just talking you know. Take your turns starting a topic and avoid all the short answers like “no I don’t enjoy it”, if you replied that way, the give them a reason why you don’t enjoy it. We women really dislike those.  If you want to meet girls, then starts breaking the ice with something funny. It could be a pick-up line, or just saying hi and introduce yourself, then let the flow carries you!
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