How to tell someone you don't like them?

+14 votes
asked Jun 21, 2015 in Relationships by Thao50M40516 (240 points)
We do find ourselves in this type of situation once in a while. I know a particular guy that likes me. I enjoy his company a lot, but just as a mere friend. So how can you tell such a person you don't want to be more than just a friend to them without making him feel bad?

4 Answers

+22 votes
answered Oct 2, 2015 by RandalMounts (390 points)

I may not know all there is to tell such a person, but you can at least follow the principles outlined below:

  1. Be honest with him. This is the right thing for you to do. You need to be honest with him, and let him know you don't really love him. Feel and act flattered, but do let him know you don't see you guyz becoming more than just friends.
  2. Be nice to him. Dissing the guy while trying to say no to his advances will only hurt his ego. Just because you do not like the guy does not give you the right to insult him.
  3. Explain your feeling. Some guys will not be satisfied with a mere I don't like you. Whatever may be your reasons for saying no, try to explain them in details. It may be that you value your friendship with him more than a more intimate relationship or that you are into someone else.
  4. Do not cook up flimsy excuses. If he keeps pestering you for a relationship, do not come up with a lie to escape his love assertions-tell him the way things stand. If you keep giving him flimsy excuses, he will keep asking you out. If you lie to him, and he later finds out you lied, you will end up hurting him the more.
  5. Don't give him false hope. Once you are sure you don't want to date him, stop going on dates with him. If you do, you are simply giving him false hopes, and that's very unfair.
  6. Don't flirt with him. Don't flirt with any guy you do not like. Being nice to someone and being flirtatious are two different things. Flirting with him will only make him feel you are really into him, and make him intensify his chase.
  7. Do not respond. If you try the above mentioned tricks and the guy still disturbs you for a relationship, just stop responding. This may be a bit harsh on him, but if he starts making you feel pestered and uneasy, ignore him.
+8 votes
answered Aug 6, 2015 by PhoebeBilode (320 points)
How to tell someone you don't like them? If this is your issue, then you must realize something: There may be no easy way of saying this without causing some pains. Say it anyhow you wish, it will always hurt because it hurts to be rejected by the one you love.

However, men are used to such things, so say it and get it done with.

Be as polite and honest as possible, but be firm. You like the fact that you guys are friends and that's how you want you two to remain. Losing his friendship may not be your motive so don't say anything that will lead to that.

Good luck to you!!
+2 votes
answered Oct 22, 2015 by TyreeT595087 (240 points)

Be honest, but not inconsiderate. Just let him know how you feel about him. If you let it linger for too long, it may become more painful to tell him off later. We all need to know how best to deal with the rejections we meet in life.

Or you can watch this video:

+2 votes
answered Oct 24, 2015 by DongMiljanov (200 points)
I had been through this kind of situation once. The guy didn't really tell me he was into me, but I could tell from his questions. He would always ask if I had any boyfriend, my plans about the future, and several other such questions. I felt for him because he was such a nice guy with no known weaknesses, but I just didn't share his idea of the two of us together as a pair.

I talked to my mum about it, and he discussed it with her man, they told me it was better to say something like, "I enjoy every moment I spend in your company, since we are mere friends without any attempt to make an impression on each other or something like that". He was somehow startled to hear that from me, but it seemed he got the message that I was trying not to hurt him. He stopped talking to me after that day, which I didn't really like because I wanted us to still be good friends.

When I ran into him incidentally a few days after that, he acted like everything was cool and he had no hard feelings about the whole issue. I guess it would be nicer and easier to say something like what I said to him to any guy you want to discourage his advances without hurting him.
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