Why am I so indecisive?

+31 votes
asked May 30, 2018 in Science by zachary (500 points)
edited Aug 14, 2018
I always have a problem making any decision. It’s just so hard to choose, you know? What if the choice you made is worse than your other choices? Often I will stuck mulling over a decision so long I get anxious and stress about it. It is just so hard for me. I don’t want to make the wrong choices. I think I always end up picking the wrong one. I know I need to do something about it, but I don’t know how. How do I stop being indecisive?

8 Answers

+30 votes
answered Jul 10, 2019 by QuintonJcx87 (360 points)
edited Aug 7, 2019
I understand you’re scared of making the wrong decisions, but maybe you can practice by making small decisions. I found this worked for me when I had a similar problem.  For example: “what am I going to have for dinner tonight?” Break it into your two main choices (take away or cook at home), consider the pros and cons of both (take away is fast and easy but probably unhealthy, whilst cooking at home is healthier and cheaper but also more time consuming and makes more dirty dishes) and then make an informed decision based on what is best for you on that particular night. Then, reward yourself for making the decision. Who cares if it was a pretty basic decision! After a while, work your way up in terms of how important a decision may be (for example, “what car insurance company should I go with?”) but follow the same formula: break it down into main options, consider pros and cons and then decide what is best for you. Then, always, reward yourself for deciding to make a decision!
+22 votes
answered Oct 19, 2018 by Kheda (990 points)
edited Apr 15, 2019
When it is all “your call”, the pressure is on you. Well, there is no way to avoid indecision. As a matter of fact, indecision is subjective. You might only think you are the most indecisive person in the world, while actually, you just take longer to process choices presented for you. Not saying that you are slower than others, it just means you mull over the details more. Often that is the problem: thinking too much about it. Avoid analysis paralysis. Instead of mulling over it for hours, just let statistics decide for you (one side note, humans are really terrible when dealing with probabilities). Let’s say for a job offer, list down all the pros and cons for all the options. It’s a simple strategy that works wonders. It clarifies the situation and the many cons you think of might just be one single issue that you rephrase mentally over and over. If you still can’t decide, go for the one with more pros to you. Let destiny takes you by the hand.
+11 votes
answered Jun 13, 2019 by CalvinLowry5 (400 points)
edited Aug 13, 2019
Most of the time we’re indecisive because we’re afraid of something, like bad outcomes. Just like you said, what if it’s the wrong choice? To stop being indecisive, just stop and ask yourself what the worst thing that could happen is, and from there continue questioning yourself “and then what?” Think about how you would deal with the series of outcomes should something bad happen. This puts things in perspective and works the fear down into something manageable. Once you can realize a fear is there and figure out what you would do in that situation, there’s nothing to be so anxious about any more! You’ve already worked yourself through the problem before it even happens.
+9 votes
answered Jun 12, 2018 by Aleksandra (1,160 points)
edited Mar 29, 2019
Indecision comes from fear of the future. Work through that fear of picking that one option over the other. Dig out the root of that fear. Maybe it ends up with monetary problems, then pick the one with better value. Fear shouldn’t cloud your judgement, emotion plays a lot in your decision making. Often times that fear is the fear of the future. Don’t think of what you “should” be doing. Do the thing you “want” to do. Prioritize decisions based on your goal. Keep in mind, you won’t know what happen if you do go for the other choice, it might end up worse as much as it can go well. As famously said, there is nothing to fear, but fear itself (and spiders).
+8 votes
answered Aug 22, 2018 by Alyssa (760 points)
edited Mar 25, 2019
Um, so “why am I so indecisive?” The smarter you are, the more indecisive you become. That is the universal truth, at least I believe so. Since with more knowledge comes bigger possibilities. Then you end up overly thinking stuff you shouldn’t. Say, you are trying to impress people because you are “smart”, you end up more anxious about your decision to please everyone, trying hard to not appear dumb before them. It ends up becoming a trap for you. With knowledge, you can try trusting you gut feeling more. Look at gut feeling this way, see it as your subconscious decision that you make based on your long experience, making that decision works for you.

One problem with indecision is that you can’t blame anyone for it. Blame it on your gut instinct, and learn from it. Fear of shame is something that builds out of your experiences, wisdom helps you make the right choices; to gain that wisdom, you have to make all the wrong choices so that in the future you will always make the right one. Open up the possibilities, it’s not always just two choices, not going with those two decisions is also a decision in itself. If you are still in that decision-making hell, flip a coin and let luck decide it for you.
+5 votes
answered Feb 1, 2019 by TawannaGodso (310 points)
edited Jul 4, 2019 by Kris

When in doubt, ask yourself “What would Oprah do?” In this case, I can tell you what she would do because her magazine published an article a while ago written by a woman who had been essentially asking how do I stop being indecisive. Her big tips for overcoming indecisiveness:

  • Talk your fears down: Everyone worries about making a bad decision. You might find yourself thinking, “If I mess this up my life will be over!” or something equally dramatic. So instead, try asking yourself: what is the worst that could happen? And if that does happen, then what? And then what? It may be that you can talk yourself out of a panic as you start to see that “the worst that can happen” really isn’t that bad.
  • Stop worrying about what you should do: apparently, a lot of people freak out over what they think other people think they should do. This automatically creates an internal struggle because your natural reaction is to rebel (“that’s not what I want to do”), which goes head to head with a fear of non-conformance (“what will people think!?”). So just focus on yourself and what is best for you and your situation.
  • Don’t over think it: Keep things simple. Make a list of pros and cons and then decide. Don’t get bogged down in analyzing every minute detail, which will only bring on mind numbing paralysis.
  • Sleep on it: If your decision isn’t urgent, then take a day or two. If you think you know what to do, you may find that you’re more certain of it tomorrow. 
commented Oct 10, 2015 by CathernGarra (140 points)
thanks for giving tips to help me sovle why am i so indecisive
+1 vote
answered Jun 5, 2018 by EloiseMcneel (370 points)
edited Nov 25, 2018
A lot of the stress you are feeling might be coming from feeling rushed in the moment or like you have to make a decision right then and there. That’s enough to stress anyone out! Try taking your time and relaxing in order to stop being indecisive. You might find that when you can just think about it casually for a minute that the decision will become very clear.
0 votes
answered Apr 12, 2019 by LloydRice627 (170 points)
edited Apr 20, 2019
My biggest problem in making a decision is always worrying how it makes other people feel or how it’ll affect what they want to do. I’m sure the word “should” has come up every time you’ve struggled making a decision, because we feel pressured by the things we “should” do according to someone other than ourselves. The best way to stop being indecisive is to stop basing your choice on what other people want and just do what you actually want. It’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes, and when someone is asking you what you genuinely want, then it’s not being selfish at all! You just have to be honest.
commented Sep 29, 2015 by ShawnRanieri (120 points)
Yeah, I agree, this is most of the time why am I so indecisive.
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