That’s a bad start to your dating life. Not all women are shallow, but considering her background from your description (parents met at country club, parents recommendations), naturally she has an overly high expectation of you as a person, felt betrayed by her own expectation and lied to by the assumptions she’d get from her parents. That could just be one-off cases that the man you do not fit her image which happens to be, well, well-off. She grew up in a posh family where she doesn’t have to work and her only way to continue that lifestyle is to marry a rich one. The term “gold-digger” exists for a reason. Honestly, you can’t really blame women for not wanting to pay their own bills.
As what that one song by Cyndi Lauper explains it, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, money is the gateway to that goal (the song is not settling down and to choose to continue to mess around with lots of partners, but you get the point). Not all women are independent, they just want an easy way out by marrying a rich husband with the belief that they won’t have to ever worry about anything with their husband money. Unfortunately, there are more rich guys for all the women, so she might immediately jump at the chance while she can. Shallow? Yes. But it is good to dream.