Why are women so shallow?

+89 votes
asked Jun 23, 2015 in Relationships by MEGAN (800 points)
I recently went on a blind date that had been organized by a friend of my parents (I know, what was I thinking?!). It started off well. The girl was friendly, seemed interested and we chatted easily for about half an hour. Her parents go to the same country club as my parents, so she said she felt like we had a lot in common and that she’d heard a lot of nice things about me…but apparently she had not heard that I rent a small flat, live a simple life and work as a labourer on a building site. All in all, I’m not rich. She had been led to believe otherwise. On learning the truth, her face fell, she turned very cold and announced shortly afterwards that she had to go. Why are women so shallow? I’m relatively new to dating, but are all women like this? Was she seriously only interested in me because she thought I was well off?

8 Answers

+18 votes
answered Sep 24, 2015 by WKYNumbers97 (370 points)
Money can be a powerful influence in attraction for anyone, although not everyone fits the stereotype. One reason why women can be shallow about money in particular is because they want financial security. I mean honestly, who doesn’t want to be free from the worry of paying the bills and keeping your family fed? For a woman, knowing that a man can take care of you can be really sexy.
+15 votes
answered Jun 30, 2015 by kristen (910 points)
No, not all women are shallow. But maybe don’t go on any more blind dates with your parents country club buddies… seems like you might be setting yourself up for failure there.
+11 votes
answered Jul 27, 2015 by BrockFiedler (350 points)
That’s a bad start to your dating life. Not all women are shallow, but considering her background from your description (parents met at country club, parents recommendations), naturally she has an overly high expectation of you as a person, felt betrayed by her own expectation and lied to by the assumptions she’d get from her parents. That could just be one-off cases that the man you do not fit her image which happens to be, well, well-off. She grew up in a posh family where she doesn’t have to work and her only way to continue that lifestyle is to marry a rich one. The term “gold-digger” exists for a reason. Honestly, you can’t really blame women for not wanting to pay their own bills.

As what that one song by Cyndi Lauper explains it, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, money is the gateway to that goal (the song is not settling down and to choose to continue to mess around with lots of partners, but you get the point). Not all women are independent, they just want an easy way out by marrying a rich husband with the belief that they won’t have to ever worry about anything with their husband money. Unfortunately, there are more rich guys for all the women, so she might immediately jump at the chance while she can. Shallow? Yes. But it is good to dream.
+10 votes
answered Sep 22, 2015 by JocelynEbner (400 points)
Why are women so shallow?? Hello, but not all women are shallow, and not all women care about how much money you have. There’s going to be people of all genders, races, etc. that are “gold diggers” or just want to marry up to get rich. This isn’t a common factor for everyone you meet though! Dating is all about finding the right person, and unfortunately this means meeting a lot of wrong people.
+6 votes
answered Jul 3, 2015 by Jenna (1,250 points)
Some people claim it’s an evolution thing – on some deep, primitive level, women view potential mates in terms of how well they will be able to provide for potential offspring. Men with money and status equal security, safety and children with college educations.
+6 votes
answered Aug 23, 2015 by MargaritoRow (290 points)
Women don’t always care about how much money a guy has for casual dating, but when she’s looking for a long-term relationship, it can be a big factor. Although it definitely seems like women are shallow because of this, it actually might be tied to natural instincts. Men have the ability to have a lot of children, but women can only have a few children of their own. This means they need to make sure that their children have enough resources to survive and live well, so finding a husband who can provide for future children is an attractive quality. Although this used to be a man who could provide food, shelter, and the essentials, this has translated to wealth and power in the modern day. I hate to be one of those people that relate everything to natural instincts, but this can be a major driving force in attraction.
+2 votes
answered Jul 3, 2015 by Julia (500 points)
Why are women so shallow??? I think plenty of men are just as shallow as women. After all why do men go off women? Isn’t it often a case of they no longer find them as attractive as they once were? What’s that if not a prime example of how shallow the male race can be?
+2 votes
answered Jul 5, 2015 by Theron39A683 (200 points)
As to why are women so shallow, I agree with Jenna. To be fair, not all women are that shallow. Interestingly enough, studies have shown that wanting a partner with higher income is an evolutionary advantage. In short term relationship, both women and men go for the good looks. But if a woman aims to settle down with a husband, then she would start at the men’s status and wallet. Back in the past, the evolution comes from women wanting only the best for the child. The rich powerful men mean healthier children and more access to resources for survival. So women look for men who can easily provide safety, protection and food, or today’s equivalent to money and status. Saying that, men similarly want the same thing to if they can, but given society standards and expectations of gender roles, men would more likely to be the provider and women are shallow for a stable future.
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