Why can't I find love?

Question

I’m a single man in my mid 20’s. I have a good job, with a steady income and stable office house. I don’t think I’m that bad looking. My friends tell me I’m funny and likeable. I don’t have any serious hygiene issues and neither am I obsessed with the world of online gaming. And yet, I can’t find anyone willing to enter into a serious relationship with me. I’ve tried meeting people on nights out, blind dates organized by well-meaning friends, speed dating, online dating...but I strike out every time. Is it me? Are other people having similar issues? My friends (all happily in relationships, mind you) tell me that there are a lot of single people out there and that many people don’t really settle down until they’re in their 30’s. But I’m skeptical. Why can’t I find love?

Answer 1

Maybe it’s because you spend too much time trawling through the internet moaning in self-pity and asking total strangers “why me?” Get outside. Socialise. Stop being so desperate, because I swear people can smell desperation a mile away. Instead of seeking your “soul-mate” just try and make new friends.

Answer 2

Not to be harsh or anything, but are you aiming too high? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with having standards. But are you hitting on supermodels when your own physique is slightly less Baywatch and slightly more The Office? What kind of people is interested in you? Maybe they’re not your “ideal” look, maybe the two of you don’t have amazing synced interests, maybe they don’t work the same hours as you and live only five minutes away…but are they interesting? Kind? Funny? Compassionate? Maybe reassess what you’re really looking for.

Another thing, you say you’re not obsesses with online gaming, etc., but do you have any hobbies? Or do you just work and then go home? People want to date people who are interesting, people who get excited about life. If you haven’t got a passion in life, find one. Then you’ll have more to share with others. So it’s not about “why can’t I find love”, it’s about are you worthy of others’ love?

Answer 3

Nothing turns me off a person more than hearing them go on and on about themselves. When you do go on dates, what do you talk about? Your work? Your friends? You goals? Ask questions. Be interested (don’t just “seem” interested). Listen to what they say and respond appropriately. It’s not exactly rocket science (although plenty of people seem incapable of doing it).