Why do guys move on so fast?

+19 votes
asked Apr 1, 2019 in Relationships by EriWassman (410 points)
edited Apr 28, 2019
I just broke with my boyfriend, it’s not even a month and I just learned that he’s already put up a new dating profile online. I’m still depressed over the break-up. Our relationship lasted at least half a year and yet he already moved one. I can’t even imagine the idea of talking to another guy yet at all. Why do guys move one so fast?

2 Answers

+16 votes
answered Jul 19, 2019 by PattyHacking (350 points)
edited Jul 20, 2019
While yes, it feels disrespectful for him to not feel depressed like you, that it just makes your heart break ever more, that he already looking for another woman. I could tell you on a thing for certain. You are just assuming that you know how he’s feeling. That you know what he’s thinking. Well, you don’t at all. Right now you are hurting and the only one you can blame it on is the guy who seemingly has moved on. Trust me on this, breakups are difficult on men too. He might just not show it on the surface.

Let’s put it this way, men would just try to avoid all those negative emotions and fight it to find that contentedness once again. Him putting up a dating profile might just his way to escape that empty feeling. Maybe he’s just look for a new validation, anything that could help him distract himself away from you and the sadness. As a woman, seeing this will just cause you to feel bad since you are still longing and holding on to that passed happy life, while men are just trying to avoid that as much as possible.

Instead of focusing on the way he feels right now, maybe it’s time to focus on yours. You had spent so much time and emotional investment on your partner that you often forget about yourself. Give yourself a nice big treat. Breakups are difficult, but you need to stay strong.
+9 votes
answered Aug 6, 2019 by DeweySain685 (350 points)
edited Aug 14, 2019
Why do guys move on so fast? Depends on the guy. Is he the type of guy you see easily going from one woman to another? Then probably grieving over him isn’t worth it. Not that will help at all. But if the break-up is difficult for you, then it is probably difficult for him too. Both of you have invested so much in the relationship. Him moving on might validate that he’s not as broken as you are over the breakup, that all this time he’s merely toying with you emotions. You are wrong. Those assumptions might be reasonable, but they are still completely wrong.

Men would invest as much or even more emotionally in the relationship. A crumbling relationship is certain to leave an emotional void no matter what. Unlike women, man isn't likely to have that emotional support, not as much as a woman would. Men might announce their breakup and goes drinking away with his friends but at the end of the day, he still needs to be a man, to look like the emotion does not scar him in any way. The woman could frequently approach her friends for support as much as they want. We just deal with the pain in a different way.
Welcome to Instant Answer, where you can ask questions and receive answers from other members of the community.
...