Why is my mom so mean to me?

+16 votes
asked Jan 12, 2018 in Education by dorothea (1,020 points)
edited Aug 25, 2018
I have issues with my mother. For instance, I’m not fat, but she insists that I am. And she’s always saying I’m an idiot. She seems to think I disrespect her. The only disrespect I showed was telling her “be quiet” when she was yelling at me, and even that request was respectful. My brother swears at her, and she thinks he respects her more than I do.

6 Answers

+31 votes
answered May 19, 2019 by Coleena (1,140 points)
edited May 22, 2019
I don't know too much about your situation, but I want to share my story.

I hate when people say, “you should respect her, just because she’s your mom”, because clearly they don’t understand what it’s like to have a parent who seems to despise you.  I can truly relate to you. My own mother has said and done such terrible things to me, things no regular mother would. It reaches a point where all of the awful things your parent says get past a personal level. Personally, I lost respect for my mother when I started thinking of her in an unbiased, third person view. It’s not just the harmful relationship she forces on you, it’s just her and how she is. For instance, when I was in middle school, my mother told me she wanted me to become slutty and get pregnant in high school. I don’t know, I guess she feels like my brothers and I ruined her life, so she wishes the same misfortune on me.

It used to make me cry a lot because, after all, she is my mother. But these days, from one woman to another, I think it’s disgusting for a mother to say something like that, or many of the other things she’s said, to her daughter.  That’s why I don’t respect her. If you’re a mother and tearing down your children is what makes you feel good, you have no right to be a parent. There’s no sense in trying to respect a person like that. If you have toxic people in your life, don’t feel guilty cutting them out. Your parents are supposed to love you the most.

I truly hope I don’t act like my mother when I have children of my own. That’s why it’s so important not to make excuses for toxic parents: it makes their behavior acceptable. But it’s not acceptable, and you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. And you shouldn’t feel obligated to respect anyone who treats you like that.
commented Dec 2, 2015 by 4774x (100 points)
so she said something like that to you when you were in middle school...
im sorry i know this is extreme but she doesnt deserve to be alive if someone says something like that to her own child that means she is a human without a hearth and shes just a piece of trash
move out of that house as soon as you can and as far as you can , forget about her and block anyway she can reach you or intract with you
i know shes your parent but being a parent isnt an excuse for her to say something like that to her child.
+9 votes
answered May 22, 2018 by Chelcee (800 points)
edited Jan 14, 2019
Some mothers just aren’t adequate parents. There are two likely reasons for her behavior: you were an unplanned pregnancy or her mother treated her similarly, and it’s how she thinks a mother should be. Also, you didn’t mention your father. I’m not sure why your mother would be so discouraging if you’re a good student and do well in your extracurricular activities. Don’t let your mother get you down, be the person you want to be.
commented Nov 17, 2015 by Dailly (100 points)
This comments really gets to me on a personal level I'm 19 and I have a terrible mom, she calls me names all the time, kicks me out for small reasons, if I take her towel she would kick me out, if I forget to clean the dishes. I'm a good person, I'm don't think I'm this awful daughter she tells her friends that I am

I move to Canada when I was 10 with my mom and dad and siblings, my parents got a divorce and my dad is kinda of distant I can't live with him and honestly I don't know if I can do it anymore I have no other family for support I don't even know why she even gave birth to me

I have no one to help me through this I wish I was dead
commented Jan 29, 2016 by Jack (100 points)
I'm the exact same as you Dailly and IDK what to do. I'm very handsome and hot girls hit on  me every day in school. I have straight A's and excellent grades all of my teachers like me and I'm almost into college the ONLY problem in my life is my mom she just gets on my nerves. I feel like she's killing me it's like I'm dying day by day and I never tell anybody this problem I know a lot of people I have tons and dozens of friends that I can live with but I don't complain to anybody. I guess I'm gonna hold tight and stick to school just a couple more years then I'm going to college and I'm never gonna see my mom again and I'm pretty sure she's gonna regret it cuz I'm the only boy she has and I've helped her a lot and made her proud of me of what I did. She talks to every single teacher and student and asks them about me and they said wonderful things about me not a single teacher or student said a thing bad about me. I'm not saying I'm perfect I'm pretty sure I have things that are bad in me but my point is I'm a very very very good guy. and don't wish you were dead cuz ur alive now and u can't do anything about dying so just live with it you'll figure it and if u didn't I'll try to help u out cuz I'm nice here's my email: [email protected] (I don't check my email a lot often so just email me and whenever I check my email I'll see it. bye take care and don't die cuz ur awesome Dailly :)
+2 votes
answered Dec 11, 2018 by Dee (500 points)
edited Apr 19, 2019

Why is my mom so mean to me? No matter what the reason is, you should read this article. It might help you deal with your situation, regardless of the reasons why your mother acts this way:


+1 vote
answered May 8, 2018 by Natasja (900 points)
edited May 28, 2018

I’m the younger of two children, and my mother is the same way. Depending on your mother’s age, she may be going through menopause. Women in this stage are often very unpleasant. Wait a while, and do your best to deal with it. You should be nice to her, she is your mother, after all. Try not to worry, and best of luck. 

+1 vote
answered Apr 14, 2019 by bunnythekat (160 points)
edited Apr 23, 2019
I feel for you guys, my mom acts like I'm just the most awful person. Today even, she bitched about my stuff near the door, so while she was gone I cleaned all of it. When she came home she just about screamed at me for two things left there that weren't even mine. She tries to find things to yell at me about. She threatens to hit me all the time and sometimes actually does. I feel like I'm in the court of law and everything I say and do can, and will be used against me. She is always yelling at me so I hide in my room most of the day. I'm 14, she called me a slut for holding hands with my bf, like wtf, bitch mode. Anyway good luck with your horrible moms.
0 votes
answered Jun 22, 2018 by melanie r (140 points)
edited Mar 17, 2019

 i  feel that way its like my mom hates me 


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