Why don’t people like me?

Question

I don’t know why people don’t include me in things or like me enough to be friends with me. I have always been nice to them, they are always nice to me, yet I’m never ever been included in any of their activities. Like just the other day at work, all the women went to lunch together but I don’t know anything about it. We crack jokes, we gossiped and I never been rude to any of them, but I’m always left out. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. Why don’t people like me?

Answer 1

For a start, it is really difficult to tell why people don’t enjoy hanging out with you. It is so much easier to judge yourself from other’s perspective to see things that you fail to notice. Most people are open to the idea of having more friends, but it could just be your approach on making friends that are often just not good enough. It is not enough that you are being nice to them. Lonelier people often have this idea that just simply talking to them is enough to get invited out with the group.

If you just greet them and exchange pleasantries with them, they would probably think you are indifferent to them. The key here is to put yourself in their radar, through which they know you exist, interested and available. It’s a common mistake, however, to think that if people like you, they will invite you. They are still just lazy and thoughtless towards you despite all the great conversation you had with them. They’d love to hang out with you (probably), but they don’t think about it, when they do, it’s likely that they want to maintain the easy status quo you had with them. Remember, you don’t owe anything to them and they don’t owe anything to you.

Answer 2

How to properly answer your question why don’t people like me… As blunt as it might sound, they just aren’t all that interested in making being your friend. No one is going to be really open about it when they try to make friends. As much as you put effort into being a friend to them, doesn’t mean it might work out for the others. You just aren’t the good match the group is looking for. Naturally, we get along much better with people who are our own type. The trait that they look for is lacking in you. Most of this is usually subconscious, you probably have done it to many people yourself.

Then to some, you might come across to be off-putting. Too talkative, too aloof, too nice even, standing too close to a person. Just because you feel OK with something, doesn’t mean everyone else is. It might be difficult to see your own flaw and correct them. Whatever the case it, don’t give up on finding friends. Being overly insecure of yourself won’t help either.